A belated entry for the 4th November!
Stormy weather is often synonymous with mental health struggles. Often images such as stormy seas and waves; are used to describe the challenges faced by people with many different difficulties. The use of these metaphors can work alongside different skills (such as mindfulness, distraction and other distress tolerance techniques) to help people to remember to hold on to hope that one day the storm will past, as it can’t live forever.
From a young age, I found storms exciting. Of course I would have to watch them from the safety of my parent’s bed… but there was something about the sheer power that left me with feelings of awe. The same can be said for the sea, especially when it is swirling and violent. Both elements of nature always have a positive impact on me and help me to remember that I am part of something much much bigger and because of that my problems can feel smaller.
Another childhood storm memory came from one of my favourite storybooks; the story of Mowzer the Mousehole cat. The story is based on a Cornish legend involving a fisherman named Tom Bawcock and his cat. The tale goes that one winter, the Cornish village (Mousehole) was facing starvation as none of the fishermen had been able to go out fishing. Tom and the loyal Mowzer set out on an adventure to catch fish and turn the fate of the villagers around. In the eye of the storm, they were faced with the giant ‘Storm-Cat’ who was only quelled by the purring of Mowzer, who of course saved the day! The book is beautiful, but the idea of taking the plunge and battling out into the storm to help others really resonated with me, perhaps that sometimes in recovery we sit with what we feel is comfortable and safe for fear of being stuck out in a storm of emotion or difficulty. But, the same comparison shows that even the biggest storms can be calmed with compassion and care (and obviously a cat!!).
I wanted to write a blog today about with one of the NaBloPoMo prompts. One idea was to talk about the things you do on a bad day with your mental health to help yourself. It made me think of keeping the hope that the storm will pass, as this is something so important to remember. But like I said in yesterday’s blog about hope, it can be really challenging to think in that way when staying afloat within the storm is about as much as you can manage.
Here are a few ideas of the types of things I do, to help myself, on a bad day!
- Well, I’ve already mentioned my first coping method (go-to mantra) a little, but it’s going on the list again. I have a whole Pinterest board with all sorts of mental health quotes
ranging from those that just sum up the way I’m feeling perfectly, to those that give me hope and those that act as reminders. My two favourites at the moment are those that remind you, that storms are actually a really good place to learn lots of new skills… quotes like ‘A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor’. I also like those that talk about making the most of time within the storm, such as the one to the right or my absolute favourite ‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain’. Surrounding yourself with positive mantras or having them to hand can give you the boost to keep going.
- When I’m having a bad day, I try to show myself some compassion. Rather than beating myself for having a tricky day, I remind myself that it’s ok to not be 100% ok all of the time.
- The next step to conquering a bad day is to get out of bed and make it. Sometimes it can feel hard to leave the safety of my duvet, but generally my mood is better if I can make myself get up and make my bed to prevent myself getting back in to it. Sometimes it’s ok to do things in a more leisurely way or allow myself to have a lie in if it helps, but getting up and about is just as important!
- When I’m feeling rubbish, I really struggle to be nice to myself. I try hard to be compassionate, but actually being kind to myself is something I still need to practice. I have a list of different accessible self care activities that I try and include in the day if I’m struggling. Things like a soak in the bath, bit of creativity, painting my nails or going out for a nice walk. Having Stitch (my cat) is also really great as he’s a perfect self care cuddle monster!
- There is definitely strength in numbers when it comes to mental health difficulties. Whether it’s someone to sound out your negative thoughts to or support you to see something different, speaking to a someone in your support network can help you to not feel alone. You deserve the care from other people, especially when you’re feeling horrible! The support of my friends, family and the professionals I have worked with has been so helpful when I’m struggling.
- Music is a real influence on my emotional wellbeing. I have a lot of different playlists depending on what I need at the time… whether it’s something to ‘dance it out’ round the room to (much to the disgust of Stitch), or whether it’s some deep dark and twisty indie to let out the emotions I’m feeling. Of course sometimes a bit of upbeat music can get me out of a slump too!
- Finally, starting the day by setting some simple goals or intentions for things I need to get done… even if they’re small… can really help me to have a little focus or feel positive that I’ve achieved something by the end of the day.
Remember… all storms have to pass in the end!